


I Never Got To Say Goodbye

by Nebulaofthesky



Category: Avengers, StevexTony - Fandom, superhusbands - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Psychological Drama, Suicide, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebulaofthesky/pseuds/Nebulaofthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's their senior year, and the gang is faced with new struggles: college applications, grades, social life. Yet when one of their own falls prey to his own demons—it will take Steve, Natasha, Clint, Thor and Bruce all their strength to help their friend; and themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wasting Away

Chapter 1  
Wasting Away

         Steve never liked hospitals, he found them down right depressing for the most part. There was something about being in a contained space with dead( and dying) people that left a creepy sense of crawling on his skin. He did not enjoy the sight of sick children having to walk with clunky IV drips, connected to them as they followed the nurses. He especially hated the too well known scream of agony that reverberated down the halls, and seem to follow him everywhere he went. Yet at the moment, none of those ticks and knocks moved him. In fact, he had completely forgotten the world outside of the current hospital room he was in.  
His eyes were fixed on the clump of blankets that laid before him, rhythmically raising and falling with the assurance of breaths following suit. Steve's eyes flitted shut for a moment as he eased deeper into the visitor's couch. The silence of the room was eerily disturbing due to the fact that it only provoked his thoughts as to why Tony did what he did. Steve opened his eyes again, his heart palpitating with the fear that he may have kept his eyes closed for too long. He glanced at Tony again, and checked for signs of breathing. As the blanket rose again with a sleepy sigh released from beneath it, Steve breathed out shakily.  
     The light that came in from the hall suddenly became obstructed, blotches and figures took the shape of an abstract shadow against the room wall. Steve turned to look to the door, only to find Natasha and Bruce standing at the entrance.

       “You're still here Steve? We thought you went home.” Natasha b-lined over to Steve's side and sat in the chair closest to the visitor's couch. Reaching out, she grabbed Steve's phone from the arm of the couch. “Clint said he was trying to call you to see if you needed a ride home, but you didn't answer, so he thought you left by now.” Bruce walked over, less rushed than his red-haired classmate, and sat beside Steve on the couch. “Have you been here all afternoon?” Steve looked at both his friends, he saw the desperate concern for him in their faces—even if they both had completely different ways of expressing it.  
     “I went home for a while, but when I called the hospital and asked who was with Tony, the nurse said no one had checked in. So I rode my bike back.” Steve said.  
     “You have to go home and eat something. Tony won't go anywhere Steve.” Bruce laid a hand on Steve's back and smiled sadly at his friend. In situations like these, Bruce never really knew what to say, and Steve knew it. He watched as Bruce adjusted his glasses nervously like he always does when trying to mediate a situation.  
   “There's no need to stay here all day. You can leave Tony alone for a while and go do stuff.” Natasha sat further back into her seat glancing over at Tony.  
   “Isn't that what we did last time? Look how well that turned out.” _Silence_. Tense, awkward silence filled the room and trapped itself in the lungs of the three adolescents. Steve knew he shouldn't have said that, yet now that it was out, he felt angered by the whole thing.

      “Steve, we couldn't have known Tony was going to—no one could have seen this coming. He was fine. He showed no signs of—” Natasha ceased as Steve stood abruptly and walked to the other side of the room. Fist in his hair, he looked at his friends with heated eyes as sad as an abandoned child's.

“What do you mean?! His parents pass away and two months later he wants to throw a massive ‘house party’, and act as if nothing happened?!” Steve's voice rose slightly, though he would not have noticed if Bruce had not flinched and stared down at the floor, adjusting his glasses once again.  
No one said anything for several minutes, and the air became more tense with each passing moment.

      “He wanted someone to be with him. He wanted company. Tony wanted someone to be with him so he wouldn't have to stay alone in that house of his anymore. Don't you guys see? When we all bailed out of the party mid-way, he...he felt abandoned. Again. It's our fault! We could have been there with him! ” The room became a blur of blues and whites as Steve's vision became clouded by the cluster of tears that had formed in his eyes.

“Visiting hours will be over shortly, Hun. You and your friends can come back tomorrow.” One of the nurses poked her head into the room and just as quickly was down the hall to the next room. Standing quickly, Natasha tossed Steve's phone back on the couch and hurried out.

“Natasha wait!” Bruce stood and ran after her. Yet before he could bolt down the hall for her, he turned to look at Steve who was wiping his eyes with his sweater sleeve.

“Steve, I know you're worried, but we can't take the blame for this. We couldn't have known he was going to try to do this.” Steve clenched his fist tightly and stared back at Bruce. “If we had been there—”  
“IF we had been there, but we weren't. Steve you can't think about what we could have done. Right now we can only think about what we're going to do when Tony is released.” Bruce purses his lip and broke away from the door to chase after Natasha. Steve stood in the room in silence, looking over at Tony one more time, he grabbed his book bag and helmet and headed out.

          

  The next day came in a blur of chopped moments. Steve did not remember waking up or having gotten dressed. He only remembered riding his bike to school and passing by the entrance of the hospital. He thought about going to check on Tony, though he remembered that visiting hours did not begin until 10 am, and it was only 7:56am. When he got to school, he did not remember taking his bike to the bike rack, only walking up the stairs to the school building and meeting eyes with Clint and Natasha, who were sitting on the front steps talking with some other students. He made his way through the front door and down the hall in time to get to History, and from there on his mind wandered in every class from first period and on. Once lunch rolled around Steve found himself becoming very anxious. Normally he sat with his friends at their table (the one to the far right corner of the cafeteria, by the vending machines and exit), yet he did know whether his friends would all be there or not. Before he could pull out his phone to text Thor about lunch arrangements, the loud speaker beeped indicating an announcement. “Can the following students please report to Principal Fury's office? Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Thor Odinson, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Virginia Potts, and James Rhodes. I repeat can those following students report to principal Fury's office?” Steve's chest tightened up. He knew it had to do something with Tony's hospitalization. It was only about time that the school got a hold of the situation. He put his phone away and walked to the office.  
            Once there, Steve met the gaze of all of his friends. The small benches outside of the office were cramped already, Thor took up half an entire seat alone. “Why were we called ?” Pepper piped up as Vice Principal Hill walked through the office doors. “Principal Fury learned about your friend Anthony and wanted to ask you all some questions.” She said as she sat down at her desk.  
The door to the office opened and out came Fury, hands behind his back, with a stern gaze. “Who would like to go first?” He said. The children all stayed quiet. “Very well, I'll pick—Ms.Romanoff.” Natasha stood and disappeared behind the mahogany door. “What am I going to say ?”Thor said with an obvious panic in his deep voice. “I was there that night—I'm the one who found Tony, what do I say if he asks about it?” Clint turned to Thor. “Calm down man, you just tell him the truth.”  
The truth? What was the truth? They had been in the dark about the whole thing for several days now about Tony's reason. Thor brought his hand to his face nervously. Just as quickly as she had gone in, Natasha came out, but this time her eyes had darkened over. Her eyeliner was slightly smeared from tear stained sleeves that dragged the charcoal color down to her cheek bones. “Rogers, you're next.” In the office, Steve looked around at the mementos Fury had collected over the years. Taxidermy crows, antique clocks, pretty outdated writing utensils and bookshelf—yep, it all screamed Fury. “Tell me Steve, how are you feeling?” Fury said folding his hands as he sat. “I'm okay sir.” “Are you? Because ms.Romanoff told me you were pretty shaken about what happened to Stark.” Steve's cheek twitched. “Stark” wasn't Tony's name, it was just a title that he had the burden to owning, and yet even in a moment like so, Fury could not find it in him to show some compassion by calling Tony by his first name. “Tell me, what happened the night he was found.” Fury leaned forward a bit, his shadow loomed over Steve as the afternoon sun disappeared behind the Principal. “W-well...Tony was throwing a party, just a get together. He has planned it out of the blue so I couldn't make it due to other stuff.” Steve looked as Fury nodded. “So I called and told him, and he seemed pretty peeved about it, but I assumed that it would be fine. On a chat that my friends and I have, they all said that they couldn't make it or had to leave early. So mid way through the party, we had all left. Thor noticed he left his jacket and went back...when he got back and went to Tony's room, which is where we always leave our stuff, he found him...passed out on the floor.” There was a break in Steve's voice, his larynx felt knotted as his eyes swelled over. “Thor called Jarvis, and then the ambulance. He—he looked for what ever tony had used, and he saw an emptied bottle of Ibuprofen and Motrims....” The last strand if composure broke there. Steve's eyes dripped hot tears onto his lap, Fury pulled a box of tissues from his desk drawer and handed it to Steve. “Was Stark acting strange previous to this? Any odd behavior or tell take sign that could have—” “Sir, if I had seen this coming, I would have stopped it. He was perfectly fine...at least I thought so.”

          Fury breathed out heavily, nodding he placed his hands on his lap as he sat up straight once again. “Thank you for your time Mr.Rogers, you're free to go to lunch.”  
A numb feeling came over Steve, he felt as though he had just opened a tightly sealed jar, and now there was nothing else to do but wait for any emotion to rush back in. He made his way outside without even looking at his friends. Instead of going to the cafeteria Steve ghosted into his next period class and sat there waiting. The blur from the morning had once again reappeared and all Steve could focus on was going to see Tony as soon as school let out. He even considered leaving during his last period gym class. The desperation he felt had never been so intense. Though it was easy for anyone to see why.  
Steve and Tony had been friends since middle school, the two were unbreakable. They had bonded over a pack of band aids and bloodied nose when Tony had stepped in to protect Steve.

 

-End of Part One-


	2. Playing Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is trying to get a hold of the situation. How could this have happened? How could any of this have happened to them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your support! I do plan on writing more! College is a bitch and isn't letting me do what I want, which is write angsty teen love novels.

          Sunlight flitted through the gaps between the branches Steve was beneath. It was a Monday— no a Tuesday, when Steve found himself crouched underneath the heavy pile of wood. Above him, circling in their predator like manner, were Justin Hammer and his acolytes. Hammer had practically made it a religious practice for his little cult to torment the sixth graders, and this time they had their eyes on Steve.  
The very first day of school was when Steve became known by a majority of his classmates as "The Captain". Granted he was a small asthmatic thing when he was in middle school, yet his lippy attitude was what almost always got him into trouble. He did not take to kindly to Hammer harassing one of his female classmates, so instead of sitting idly and hoping an adult would happen to walk by, he tightened the fasteners on his backpack and walked over to the scene. From there on Steve was pegged the bravest kid in school, or the craziest. This was what brought on a lot of the sympathy from Tony.  
             Sitting among his friends, Tony saw from his post atop of the jungle gym, a bundle of branches shaking as the group of rowdy boys dug through the pile.  
“What do you see Stark?” Clint piped up from the monkey-bars.  
“Justin and his goons digging like dogs.”  
“What?” Natasha climbed higher to Tony.  
Peering out, she recognized something odd about the pile.  
“That’s Rogers down there.”  
“Rogers? What is he doing now?” Clint, by this time, had climbed up to where his friends were seated and looked out as well.

          Before either of them could say anything, Tony thrusted himself forward down the slide. As he jumped off from the bottom level, he landed in a heap of sand and scrambled on to his feet.  
“Get up ‘Captain’. What’s the matter? You give up already?” Hammer picked Steve up by his shirt collar and shoved him down to the ground once more. The impact was abrupt causing Steve to double over from the sharp pain that shot up his side as his arm made contact with the pavement.  
“Fight if you’re gonna act like such a tough guy.” One of the boys chirped.  
As Justin reached for Steve once more, his body barreled forward sending him crashing down into the wood chips. The laughing ceased as everyone turned to look behind them, standing with his fists clenched was Tony in a—somewhat— fighting pose.  
“You are going to get it Stark.” Justin stood up red faced with his fists bloodied from the splinters lodged in his hand.  
“Tough talk from a guy who just got his ass handed to him by an 11-year-old.”  
“You caught me off guard! I can easily hurt you, I am bigger than you!”  
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Tony smirked and looked at Steve.  
“Anytime you wanna tag in, let me know.”

_Buzz. Buzz._  
Propelled back to the present, Steve’s head snapped up from his desk. Silhouettes of his classmates lined the walls, flickering on and off from the light of the screen in the front of the class.  
“1941, The U.S. became involved with the war after the bombing of Pearl Harbor…” That’s right, he was in history. _Buzz. Buzz_. Shifting in his seat, Steve reached for his phone in his bookbag. He stood a textbook up in front of him and looked down at his noisy mobile to see who could be texting him in the middle of class.

_Sender: Thor O._  
_Subject: Tony_  
_Message: Cap, Anthony is being released from the hospital tomorrow. Several of us were going to welcome him back and spend the evening in his abode to ensure his recovery. Should you wish to accompany us?_

Steve looked at his phone pensively. His thumbs hovered over the screen, circling around the keys, dancing along with his hesitation to type anything _._

_Sender: Steve R._  
_Subject: RE: Tony_  
_Message: I have to check. I am swamped with history homework._

Why did he type that? What was wrong with him? His friend needed him, why would he favor time with his homework? Steve ran a hand through his hair impatiently. He couldn’t see Tony tonight. Or as a matter of fact, he did not want to see Tony. Not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I will definitely be continuing this. Please comment with suggestions, inwouldnlive to hear some!


End file.
